WC-Reiniger - Toilet Cleaner

If only I gave enough of a crap to care about making my toilet cleaner. The problem is I live with two other guys, who, being guys are mostly forgiving of our place’s general untidiness. Unlike most girls, who are generally about as tolerant of mess as Enoch Powell was of New Commonwealth immigrants back in the 60’s. It’s not that I live in squalor, just that stuff round the house get straightened up when it needs to - we choose not to chase the infinite-cleanliness dream because, well, what’s the point? I find whenever I do a massive cleanup, by the next day it’s looking shoddy again, and within a week it’s back to the way it was. In my experience, tidiness over time is a negatively exponential curve. On a scale of one to ten, ten being spotlessly clean beyond all imported Polish maid-slavery, one being a crack den even the addicts are ashamed of, my house would currently be about a five or six. The decline from there takes significantly longer than the dramatic fall from an eight directly after a big cleanup. At a wild guess, the gap increases by about twenty-eight days each time between the levels below five, so four weeks between five and four, eight between four and three, and so on. It’s therefore less about being lazy and more about having smart time management. Now if you’ve read my previous nonsense, you might have noticed a slight contradiction. While I admit I’m a hygiene-freak, this only really comes out in public places - for some reason I trust the filth of two guys I know over several thousand I don’t. Silly, I know. The only thing that makes me cringe a little is our toilet. Someone - I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me - took a massively explosive shit in there well over a month ago, the remnants of which still endure, decoratively plastered to the back of the bowl. I’ve been trying to get rid of it for weeks with varying strengths (both power and concentration) of pee shot directly at undulating poo ridges. It’s had the urinary equivalent of a sustained NATO carpet bombing, but like similarly targeted Taleban forces in Afghanistan, it’s still there, slightly reduced, but what‘s left seems even more steadfast and determined than ever. I’m not suggesting our troops are pissing on militant forces, but now I mention it, it’s might be worth a shot. A golden shower from a tough, brute marine might be just enough to make one or two of them realise their closeted homosexuality, thereby invalidating their Islamic faith, instantly ending their jihad and forcing their immediate surrender. They’d of course also emphasise to their captors they could still have weapons stashed anywhere, and that a full cavity search would be the only way to insure everyone’s safety. But borderline racism and homophobia aside, I’ve just made a big decision: it’s time to end that smeary faecal blob’s bog-tenure once and for all. Writing about it has angered me into action. If I don’t return, just carry on as normal.