Felge - (Wheel) Rim

Hopefully the authors of my Collins German School Dictionary felt the need to specify the wheelie-nature of this word for fear of it being confused with your standard edge or perimeter, not a shady, poo-related sexual practice. But then felge does sound remarkably like felch, a not-too-distant cousin of rimming, as far as bum-related shag activities go. Shit-licking aside though, I understand from my limited car knowledge that rims on your motor are those horrid, glittering, spinney-disc penis extensions, exclusively for superficial pricks. If anyone’s concerned that’s a sweeping generalisation, please send me a picture and brief CV of any rimmed-up car owner for whom you don’t think that holds true. Their hair’ll be Tony and Guy’d to gimpish proportions, they’ll have a shiny gem poking through at least one of their ears, and their expensively twatty clothing will be covered in garish logos and brand names. Their hobbies and interests will include flexing in the mirror, listening to shit music and any pastime that involves being an obnoxious, strutting moron. Okay, that’s not necessarily true in every case - there’s an awful lot of just thick people who think they’re great by imitating the shallow idiots they see on the TV or living down the street. So only superficial pricks and thick people do that to their cars - you simply can‘t argue that point. Now, in terms of people who actively engage in rimming and felching, it’s far less clean cut. They’re a lot like the home-grown, white-boy terrorist-types who slip right under everyone’s radar. Joe Public assumes no straight people could be into rimming or felching in the same way he thinks no Caucasians could be into blowing stuff up just to shag a few posthumous virgins. It’s very possible there’s plenty in both groups who’ll, as I write, be keeping very schtum about their distasteful and harmful activities. A scary thought, but this entry needs to end right now before the idea of licking bums, ticking bombs or even tickling bums or bombs give me nightmares about Al Qaeda-themed scat orgies. I’d sooner avoid them because frankly, they just sound shit.