I’ve never until this very moment in time realised that the popular brand of wheat-biscuit cereal, Weatabix is spelt utterly incorrectly - the ‘wheat’ part of it anyway. Or is it? See Weatabix is how I thought it was spelt, and now I’m not sure at all. Do you know how to spell it? Your mind is probably shrouded in the same self-doubt as mine about two minutes ago. But it’s okay, I solved this conundrum in the only way our descendants will know how to work out any problem, ever: Google. Sure enough, within 0.22 seconds, ‘Did you mean: Weetabix’ Why yes Google, I do! It still looks unnatural though as if the second I started writing this piece, they changed that letter A for an E simultaneously across the globe just to fuck with me. But anyway, I was politely directed to www.weetabix.co.uk. The fact that The Weetabix Food Company has a website just raises more questions. Who would ever be so out of things to browse on the internet that breakfast cereal information and pictures is suddenly appealing? I suppose if the actual company, be it Weetabix or any other producers of branded goods didn’t buy up their product’s domain name, some one else would and probably flog it back to them for an extortionate amount. And failing that would probably begin the blackmail process by threatening all sorts of libellous shit that the kid behind it all either doesn’t care or understand. ‘WEETABIX ARE GAY‘ and ‘ONLY PAEDOPHILES EAT WEETABIX’ - although ‘paedophiles’ would clearly be mispelt.
Stop the press! I’ve just noticed that it tells you how many Weetabix have been made since you’ve been on the website. That’s brilliant. And probably bullshit. But either way, that’s made me a definite convert to pointless product websites. So I’m off to see what cyberspacial treats are on offer from the makers of Colman’s Mustard, Tena Lady and Daz.
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