Oliv - Olive-Green

Olives - green or black - I can’t stand. There’s nothing nice about them, they make me feel sick. Especially when Subway put them in your sandwich by mistake, then vaguely apologise, merely scrape them off and leave the black olive residue and offensive flavour all over your lunch. I know, because I’ve done just that when I was a Sandwich Artist while living in Cairns. But only to people who were rude or clearly complete idiots. Also, after you’ve witnessed an obese, mentally unstable, violent alcoholic man masturbating and putting a chair leg up between his rear cheeks while you’re working at Subway, it tends to leave a lasting, jaded impression. Furthermore, when the police nonchalantly bundle him into their car and say he’ll be out tomorrow after he’s dried up - despite wanking in public - the cynicism for society almost hits breaking point, where not only would everyone get black olives in their sandwich, but an additional rusty nail recently-picked scab. That’s Eating Fresh, motherfucker.