Hygienisch - Hygienic

Gone are the days I’d only ever open a pub toilet door with a loo paper barrier separating my freshly cleansed hands and the pissed-up handle. I’ve grown up just a little bit since then. Now I use my little finger and attempt to select the least likely touched section, then after a successful exit, wipe it vigorously on the lower part of my trousers to remove as much trace bacteria as possible. Okay, so perhaps this does sound somewhat obsessive-compulsive, but if you’re a girl, you have no idea how disgustingly unhygienic guys are when they visit the bogs. Probably one in every five will wash their hands, and of them maybe twenty percent will bother with soap. Therefore, the door handle is just a massive piss-germ orgy that’s going straight onto your hands and into that double burger you’ve ordered - that’s assuming it hasn’t already been pissed in by the cheery kitchen staff. I understand that living ridiculously hygienically isn’t a great idea because we need to be exposed to at least some germs in order to build up our immune system. But of all the potential bacterial sources out there, I’d rather avoid anything relating to other men’s cocks and asses and their associated secretions.