Ein|tragen - To Put Down

Having already discussed the evils of Chocolate Finger addiction in an earlier piece, I could easily write similar drivel regarding Walkers Sensations crisps or any supermarket’s own-brand packs of luxury triple chocolate cookies. They are equally impossible to put down and require an unbearable amount of willpower to not scoff the entire lot in one sitting. But instead, I’ll touch upon how easy it to put down people who clearly eat too many biscuity-crispy-cookie treats - or ridiculously fat people. Luckily, my current constitution allows the eating of almost anything in however large quantities I choose, without putting on any weight whatsoever. And I’ve tried. Yet I hover around the ten, to ten-and-a-half stone mark, and have done for the last several years regardless of what I do. So I just stopped caring and it’s not made a shred of difference. Most other people, however, eat two bags of crisps and all of a sudden they’re Rosanne Barr, or any other overweight celebrity of your choosing. These people hate me, so it seems only fair I hate them back, at least a little bit. No, I could never be such a bastard, but that doesn’t stop my desire to poke fun or put them down once in a while in a friendly, jovial kind of way. I mean nothing by it when I giggle at them waddling down the road, squeezing through passages and doorways or deciding to take that seat in a fast food restaurant window, stuffing double burgers into their cakeholes to the horror of passers-by. I get called a skinny wretch all the time, yet it’s politically incorrect for me turn that around on the massively overweight. I suppose obese people are still, if only slightly, in the minority. Perhaps after another decade of supermarkets pushing their biscuity-crispy-cookie snacks, us thin folk will cease to be the majority and fat jokes will become as inoffensive as those targeting white guys or dyslexic kangaroos. Here’s hopping anyway.