Ein|Planen - To Allow For

To allow four people in the back of a minicab isn’t legal. Unless you get one person to either sit on someone’s knee or lie across the other three, striking an alluring pose while eating grapes the entire journey. Actually that’s illegal too. It has to be meat pies. Or a bowl of sick a la Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste. Granted, neither are that appealing, but it’s one of those ancient, unrepealed laws like killing a Yorkshireman with a wooden spoon at thirty paces on a rainy day inside a discount German supermarket - try it out in Lidl or Aldi if you‘re curious. Where is this entry going? Any suggestions? Well, were it in the back of an unlicensed minicab (without the company of four people, meat pies and sick), it could well be subjected to a serious sexual assault. And before uppity-ism forces you to stop reading with disgust, I’m not making light of that - of course it’s a grisly and abhorrent crime when done to humans (and most, but not all other animals), but we’re talking about a written, digital blog entry on the internet here. Textual assault isn‘t quite so serious. What’s the worst he could really do? Perhaps 4cing hmslf + hs txt spk into this sentence, while I struggle to beat him off (tee-hee-hee) to delete and re-edit? And yeah, all rapists must use text-speak because they‘re obviously complete pricks. Go figure. And on that non-bombshell, it’s time to leave this failed entry before it gets any worse.