Speichel - Saliva

Nobody likes being spat on. Or shat on. Or sat on - except maybe bad uncles at Christmas time. And actually, some people do like, or at least pretend to like being shat on. Usually for cash for internet videos that other, arguably far more ridiculous people will pleasure themselves over. But I can’t think of anything vaguely attractive - sexual or not - about gobbing saliva all over someone’s face. Then again, I am a sad, lonely single man, the very demographic most likely to get off on such subversive wrongery, so there’s a chance I’ll have a filth-epiphany in the not-too-distant future. Personally I find spitting quite revolting and cringe whenever I see people do it in the street. Given, I do get a bit OCD about hygiene (see Hygienisch - 27/8/08) but even a normal person can surely see it’s disgusting. Spreading their fetid DNA in public places might be something these odious pricks are used to - I’ve worked in a cinema long enough to scoop up ample supporting evidence - but it’s not an excuse. It’s only one step down from openly sneezing or coughing on someone’s face. Part of the problem is idiots’ idolisation of footballers who spit constantly in full HD throughout their exhibitions of smug cuntiness. This leads to the inevitable peer pressure to imitate their actions, somehow linking their obnoxious spegging to oodles of cash and pop star girlfriends. The whole thing is horrible and I just wish people weren’t so disgusting. But saying that, I couldn’t be anywhere near as self-righteous and judgemental if everyone was as stupidly uptight as me. So, whatever. I don’t care. Continue being disgusting, nauseating freaks, it’s fine.